So....this happened recently. I've never had glasses....never needed glasses to be more exact.
Here's a confession for you. I didn't know what "readers" were. Nope. That might sound silly but I really had no clue. I was at a bridal shower and was having a terrible time reading some little tiny print on the side of a disposable camera. So....my friend says, "here, try these" and hands me her glasses.
WHOA!!!! And holy moly and WOW!!!! I could SEE THE TINY PRINT!!!! AMAZING!
Everyone laughed and I quickly made note to run out and get myself a pair.
I now am the proud owner of four pair of readers. If you too need these fantastic little helper you know that one pair isn't nearly enough. I have one in my purse, one on my nightstand, one in the kitchen and one in my cosmetic drawer (eyebrows, people!!).
I am loving being able to see so much better. In my defense this is why I think I never knew what readers were. You see my parents are young. So young that they never wore readers while I lived at home. I do remember my grandpa pulling his glasses out of his pocket to read something. Ah-ha! Readers! Until this point I thought all glasses were by prescription only.
I didn't really understand that you use this special type of glasses to look at things up close. Warning: Do not look at items far off...it will make you woozy. I'm learning the fine art of perching the glasses far enough down my nose so that I can look up and over them for distance.
And yes, I did go to the eye doctor to make sure I didn't need a prescription. I've still got 20/20 vision. Yeah for that!
Other epiphanies I've had since discovering readers:
1. Old ladies with long whiskers on their chins and upper lips don't know they are there. They need readers! And then they need tweezers.
2. Emoticons are making lots of different faces and even hold different things. Who knew?!
3. My husband thinks my readers are hot. Like smokin' hot. Sheesh...I would have gotten a pair 10 years ago if I knew.
My elementary school librarian wore that chain around her neck so she could put her readers on and off and not loose them. Ohhhhh! I get it now.
And maybe I might want one of those chains!
Becky! I can't tell you how much THIS IS ME!! I know. You are thinking, "Of all the posts about my wonderful children, Teresa decides to post a comment about READER GLASSES!!" I know . . . and you know I adore your family. However, reader glasses are HUGE!!! I knew about 20 years after high school some men would get bald and get a paunch; and some ladies would get a little plump and go gray. No one, and I mean NO ONE told me in your mid-forties YOU WILL GO BLIND. YOU WILL GO BLIND. For those who, like me, have never been told, let me say it, again, "In your mid-forties YOU WILL GO BLIND." Truly, I am just as struck by the fact that I went blind as I was by the fact that I didn't have a clue it was coming!!! Come on ladies; clue in the sisterhood! After it happened and I mentioned it to others, they just shook their head knowingly and said, "Yeah." "Yeah?" Are you kidding? You have no idea how long "going blind" was a mystery to me. I just lay in bed at night to read and squinted my eyes and read a bit blurry. Then, I tried reader glasses! Oh, my gosh, letters in books had defined edges!!! I am the LAZIEST person in the world, and once I am in bed . . . I am in bed. I can't tell you how odd it was to find myself forced out of bed to go and get my glasses so I could read. Are you one to read until you drop your book and fall asleep? Most nights I am, and I should mention I wear a CPAP mask. Now, I wear my reader glasses under the CPAP mask and fall asleep. I am telling you, it is a sexy look. I do not worry about nighttime robbers getting me; if they should get a look of me, the color will instantly drain from their face; they will feel faint; and leave the premises as quickly as possible. Once I settled into the need for readers, I wore them daily for a year to school, but NEVER used them; they were just like a headband accessory. I wanted to use them; things were fuzzy, but most of what I needed to look at as a teacher was just out of the good range for reader glasses. Plus all that on/off, on/off, on/off just seemed like too much trouble. Now, on/off is an hourly occurrence. I've had two days this year that I forgot my reader glasses and didn't have an extra pair in my purse or desk. The first time I put out an ALL CALL to the whole school asking who had an extra pair to lend. The second time I went home at lunch to get a pair. I'm not even this devoted to my dog. (Well, if I had a dog.) Sometimes I walk outside and pull down my glasses; I don't know why. I guess I think they are sunglasses. Yup. You guessed. Woozy. Sometimes I find I am even going down stairs. Yikes. You mentioned little old ladies and their chin hairs . . . their long, long chin hairs. YOU ARE RIGHT: THEY CAN'T SEE THEM. I'm not QUITE admitting that I was in for a horrible shock when I looked in the mirror at my face with reader glasses. Those brows of mine I've been so happy to not need to pluck for five years; yeah, not so much. Now, like you, I'm not sayin' I don't look hot in readers, I'm just saying SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME I WOULD GO BLIND IN MY MID-FORTIES!!!! (By the way, the eye doctor said the loss continues through your mid-fifties and evens out. Great.) You know, when I see you I'm going to be talking about this still because .. . you've got it . . .NO ONE EVER TOLD ME I WOULD GO BLIND IN MY MID-FORTIES!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteExactly!!!!! Public service announcement!!
DeleteBecky
Over the years I have had both prescription lenses and readers and I can say the plan of having three or four pair (in bright colors) worked for me. Currently I have two pair - one for computer work and one for close work - and I still loose them. The chain-thing never worked for me - but try it and I have a couple chains Keith gave me for Christmas one year!! I would share.
ReplyDeleteWell Becky... Welcome to the sisterhood of readers. I had 3 pair, one plain Jane, my first pair when I thought no one would realize they were readers, lol, a red pair and a purple pair. Guess what? I just discovered they have sunglass readers so now I can shade my eyes and read outside! Miracle, I am telling you! And just so you know, if you have lasix surgery in your late forties... You will go blind in your sixties...sigh.
ReplyDeleteWait until you need contacts and readers! Love your post, it made me LOL. You have a wonderful way with words and should write a book! Love you, Mom
ReplyDelete