I stumbled upon a blog recently that I love SO much. The gal that writes is amazingly funny and smart and I just can't stop reading!! There are so many of her posts that make me wonder how she got into my head and found out exactly what I've been thinking! Incredible. The blog is Momastery. Check it out!! If I have to pick my favorite essay it would be Don't Carpe Diem. Read it, read it, read it! Do it NOW. I cried, I laughed and it left me feeling not so lonely. Read it. I sang the alleluia chorus. Seriously.
Being a mom is hard. And wonderful. And hard. And beautiful. And challenging. And the best. And hard. Yep. After reading many of G's posts I realized that women needs to tell the truth more about being a mom. It's okay to say how hard it is....it doesn't mean you don't enjoy your job!
Here's my example of the good/bad/fun/hard part of being a mom.
The other day Tuba had an appointment at Children's Hospital for a check-up. I booked it for a non-school day during mid-winter break. I thought about getting a sitter but in the end I figured I could handle it. So, I took all the kids with me to the appt. Are you shaking your head side to side and saying, What?? Yeah, me too. Only it's too late now.
Why, oh, why did I think I could pull that off? I have too much faith in myself...or my kids for that matter. Did I not remember THIS? My memories of that day are so strong. So terrible. I did not put many details in but it was awful. The kids were 3 mos., 9 mos., 2, 5 and Tuba was 11. What was I thinking?
So this time around I planned ahead. Snack bags for all 5. I also got this brilliant idea that while we were at the hospital we could do ROAK! Yes, Random Acts of Kindness would be a great lesson for the kids. Something fun and educational. I put heart stickers, candy, and a spice gift box in my bag.On the way to the appointment I told the kids all about the plan for our RAOK. They were excited! It was going to be a great day!
Once at the hospital we checked in, gave out our first candy treat and headed off to the clinic. I could feel myself getting worried as I watched Sis run, climb and jump repeatedly off the couches on our way to the wait room. Once inside the clinic exam room I gave each kid their snack bag and showed them EXACTLY where to sit....and stay.
Soon after the NP arrived and began talking with me all hell broke loose. The wee ones were standing on the exam table and then jumping off onto the floor, repeat. The middle boys were getting up and fighting over the spinning stool. Every kid was asking me questions, and whining, and yelling, and had to go potty! Okay, not Tuba. He was good! The others. NOT! Nobody was listening to me. At one point Baby George stuck his tongue out at me and then asked why I was making "that" face at him!! The NP actually said back to him, "Your mom is making that face because you aren't listening to her". So embarrassing! So frustrating. If we had been home I would have put everyone in time-out.....or hollered in that bigscarymymomisgoingtokillmevoice! Surely that would make them stop. By the end my eye was twitching and I was hating myself for being so stupid! Stupid woman!!
I wanted to march them all to the van and peel out of the parking lot for home. But, I had promised Tuba lunch in the cafeteria...and he had been good. I contemplated making the trouble makers sit and watch Tuba eat. But, I wimped out knowing it would only cause me more misery.
After lunch and a cool down (for me) I gave the kids the red heart stickers to hand out. They were nervous at first. Then suddenly Mr. P got brave, stood up and handed a sticker to a little girl with Down Syndrome. She was thrilled. Her mom and dad each got one too. Busy Guy gave out some too. One little boy made us laugh when he yelled NO and threw the sticker on the ground. Sis and Baby George gave all theirs to adults. It was so fun to watch them. Sis would just go right up and plant the sticker on someone's hand. It was fun.
The ride home was loud. Chaotic. Nobody was listening...again...the eye twitch. Good feeling gone. I was cranky and tired and defeated. Later that night as I thought about the day I wondered if the kids would remember me hollering at them or would they remember the ROAK we did. I don't know?
The next day Sis was telling G. Sue all about our RAOK. She told her that we "Spwed Wuv". So precious. I got all teared up. It was a Kairos moment. Don't know what that is? Then ya didn't read the Carpe Diem essay. Read it!