Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Always Learning

I've been a mom for almost 15 years. But, I'm always trying to learn how to do my job better....how to do it differently. I fall short so many times. Too many. The other night I had a short temper with Tuba. I felt so badly. I stewed about it all night and it kept me awake thinking. I said sorry to Tuba and gave him a snuggle. He of course forgave me and life moved on. Except that I still felt bad. I want to do better. When the house gets quiet at night and I have time to reflect on the day I tend to focus on what I did wrong or what I could have done better. Cam tells me all the time to think of at least three things I did well. I do use that exercise and it does help me to see a clearer picture. But, like the example with Tuba. I did do wrong. I pulled out some of my parenting books and read some refresher material. It's always helpful to me to re-read parenting advice or ideas since each kid is different and each situation is new. These are my favorite parenting books. Okay, don't laugh...seriously. I love Super Nanny's book. Really! I love her show and I LOVE her book. The chapters are very to the point. I mean...anyone with a passel of small kids does NOT have time to read lengthy chapters to get to the meat of what to do! I really like Super Nanny's method for time out. It helped me to realize that I needed to get down on my kids' level and look in their eyes. Sounds pretty simple but I was not doing it. I can be like a maniac hollering from one room to kids in another room. Hello? How well does that work. Ummmm....NOT well. She gives steps to follow and they work. I have used the Super Nanny TO system for a couple of years. But, over time and as chaos increased I have gotten sloppy in my method. ie: maniac hollering lunatic. Not pretty. Another of my favorite books is Love and Logic. The authors have many books but the one I have is specifically for toddlers. I find parenting toddlers to be VERY challenging. The book is wonderful and helped me potty train Baby George. I did what the book said and he was potty trained...in a day! Okay, it might just be the child but the method was great. Love and Logic is big on choices. In my rushed and sometimes frustrated day I had forgotten to be giving lots of choices. It is amazing how you can get (trick....hehehehe) a toddler into doing what you want/need him/her to do. Yipee! What are your favorite parenting book? Leave it in the comments section.

3 comments:

  1. Ah, yes. I remember the "maniac hollering lunatic" experience. I will never forget my oldest saying to me, "Mommy, you don't have to yell." (She was three!) I didn't have to, but at the time it's just what I couldn't help doing! Becky, I still think about those times I wish I'd kept my impatience and temper in check. And my girls are grownups!! I don't think I damaged them TOO much:-) I can't remember what books I read, probably something by Dr. Dobson!

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  2. Hmm, I don't have any favorite parenting books yet...maybe I'll steal your titles! :)

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  3. Becky, it's funny you mentioned "Love and Logic" because I am currently reading "Love and Logic in the Classroom" for teaching high schoolers! Even with a couple of small changes, I can already see what a difference it makes (for example, administering consequences with empathy, not anger). Of course, when I was raising my daughter, I was Protestant and Dr. James Dobson was the rock star author of parenting books (probably still is). Two books of his that really made an impact on me were "Dare to Discipline" and "Love Must Be Tough." Excellent books with principles that don't go out of style.

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