The Good and the Bad

Mr. P made this adorable caterpillar a couple of years ago at pre-school. It gives me such joy to look at. It was during his green faze. He would bring home art project after art project and they would all be green.

Well, I'd say I usually blog about the fun, happy and charming sides of my family life. BUT, this is a very hard year and I'm having a VERY hard week. I debated whether to say anything here in blog land...as it is here for anyone and everyone to read. But, this is me, the good and the bad. I'm an honest person and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I do not have a good poker face at all so why have a poker face here on my blog too?


As you know my hubby Cam is in grad school. He has one year left....one long and hard year! UGH! Right now, this week, today, this minute that sounds like FOREVER. It sounds un-doable, it sounds downright rotten. I feel like throwing in the towel. I feel cranky, overworked and under appreciated. I feel lonely, yet I'm never alone. I feel stressed. I feel tired even though I'm finally getting some sleep at night. I feel tense and I'm snappy. I cried at the gym yesterday for the whole hour I was on the treadmill. I cried when the babies threw all their dinner on the carpet. I've yelled at the kids...more than once. I really miss my hubby. He is working so hard at both school and work. He sees the kids for a couple of nights (2 hours) a week and maybe one day a week. It's not enough for any of us. This quarter consists of 2 full days of clinical, 2 full days of classes, and 2-12 hour work shifts. When you add in studying that doesn't leave much time for anything else. On top of the craziness we have colds and Baby George is teething his eye teeth...yes, the dreaded eye teeth. He is cranky and clinging. I have little bruises all over my body from him biting me. By the end of the day I feel like I've been slowly pecked to death by chickens. My house is a disaster....I know what everyone will say...having a clean house isn't important but it helps me function better. I'm not talking sparkling clean but maintained and organized. Probably should get off here and start cleaning:)


I know this too shall pass and I'm going to put my head down and push forward...and do my best. Little things are helping me get through this. The highlights of the week were; coming home from the gym and finding Cam had cleaned the kitchen and dressed the kids...yeah:), a friend offered to bring Mr. P home from school on Friday so I didn't have to load the kids up and venture out into the pouring rain....yeah:), an email and phone call from a friend and her offer to help us out in any way, plus her encouragement....yeah:), my MIL watched the babies so I could go on a field trip with Busy Guy...yeah:). I feel better today than I did on Thurs. so these little things are helping. Cam and I working together and are giving it an extra effort to be kind to each other and be aware of the other's needs. I will pray more and read the Psalms. I always find comfort and encouragement in the Psalms. Pray for me. I could use the extra prayers.