Be the Example

I've been thinking a lot about sibling love. It warms my heart when I see my children being kind to each other. It breaks my heart when I see them being mean or indifferent to their brothers or sister. I do my best to guide them and help them to understand the importance of loving each other. But, I fall short and in times when my kids are fighting I start to wonder what else I could be doing.

There are lots of things, but I've come to the conclusion that the number one thing I can do is be an example. Period. I have to be a good friend, good sister, and most of all a good spouse to Cam. My relationship with my husband is the best example for my kids. It's the one they will follow...good or bad.

A few months ago Cam and I were out for a date night. I got the chance (ie: more than 10 minutes at night while we are both tired) to talk to him in depth about his job. It was very interesting...and heart breaking. Cam is Nurse Practitioner in an ICU....an ICU in a major medical university that treats the sickest patients in 6 states. Tough job. He sees VERY sick people. He watches people suffer. He watches families of the patients grieve. Very hard job. He has watched countless people die after long drawn out illnesses. Watched small children say goodbye to their parent, watched parents weeping over their adult children. Terrible sadness. There are some success stories. But few. And when a patient does do the miraculous and survive Cam doesn't get to see the end result. After leaving ICU the patient goes to floor care and then home. It's a big hospital in a big city. Occasionally a former patient will come back to visit and thank the team of providers. I like it when that happens. Proof of the good outcomes.

The crazy thing is Cam loves his job. LOVES! He is very good at it. VERY! I constantly find notes and letters he has brought home from families of his patients. He is too humble to show them all to me. But, I see them. And I know how lucky those families and patients are to have shared their journey with Cam. Blessed. And that is exactly what the cards and letters say.

Back to being a good example...and tying these two things together. When Cam gets home I'm usually at my limit....kid limit. :) He works long days. Leaves at 6:00 a.m. and gets home around 5:30-6:30. That means a long day for this mommy too. But, when he walks in the door I think about what he has seen at work that day. The pain, the suffering, the trauma. Instead of barraging him (okay, sometimes I still do) right away with what I need, instead I think, what does he need? Now, that is exactly what I'd like my kids to do for each other. Be thinking of what the other person needs. Be a friend. I need to be a better friend to my husband because that is how I teach my kids to do the same.
I love my family and I am so thankful for them and the lessons they provide me.